I start awake in the wee hours of morning, darkness consumes the night outside as the anxious thoughts of life consume my mind and will not allow for rest. I worry and fret and cannot begin to comprehend how I will still my soul to lull back into the sleep my body needs. Perhaps that this is the first issue: "I". It will be impossible for me to surmount any of these anxieties and find rest myself, but only through surrendering and receiving the open and all-encompassing love of Christ will I find any release from my captives.
I turn to look at my phone to check first the time...3:38 (or something similar)...too early. Then, I remember my Jesus Calling app and look there. It is in those words for the day that I am reminded of the love God has for me and how easily I am swayed from it. The enemy is fully aware of my flaws and weaknesses. He knows of my tendency to worry and latch on to the things that are beyond my control. He knows my struggle to let things go and move forward and how I feel that in some way, by holding on and feeling guilt, I am serving my sentence even though I am well aware the most miraculous act of sacrificial love has freed me. The enemy loves holding me in this place of incapacity. And I am not his first victim. My thoughts turn swiftly to the first act of the tempter in the garden with another woman. The first act of deception wasn't in the act of eating the fruit, but planting the seed of doubting God's word. "Did God really...?" (Genesis 3:1) And I think of how many times I have let that same voice, so craftily similar to my own ask myself the same questions. Could God really choose you after this? Does God really love you like He says? Is His love powerful enough for this situation? These are the questions that claw and catch me in my moments of weakness, these moments of the enemies attacks at my weakest point, but an answer is at the ready from the One who makes me strong in my weakness: yes. At first the answer comes in a weak whisper: yes. Then, it builds to a confident Yes and finally a shouting Yes as a remember God's miraculous word and the wondrous works He has performed in my life. God is beyond what is required. His love is all-encompassing.
Sarah Young speaks to this love in Jesus Calling when she writes of the discipline of embracing and receiving God's "boundless and everlasting Love". We must continually be on watch for the deception we may receive from the enemy. Because in this deceptive whisper lies a path of tragic disobedience that I have found myself on more than I wish to recall. Claim that voice for what it is and turn to the Savior whose love knows no bounds, whose embrace never loses its power. He longs to walk with you each step, guiding you in your pursuit of the abundant and eternal life He has called you to.
"And this is the real and eternal life: That they know you, the one and only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you sent." John 17:3 MSG
May we receive fully this abundant love of God and seek to submit to His authority over our life, so we can know God and the abundant life He has created for us.
Blessings for the journey.
